What am I doing?

In my "normal" life, everything seems to be going as planned. I recently got a job. A well paying job and that made me question my whole SD quest. If this job is what it looks like, in a few months, I will be able to support my entire life (kids included) alone. No need for a SD right? Wrong.

I've noticed that I actually like this lifestyle. Giving him what he wants and in turn getting something I want. It sounds so simple, but it hasn't been working like that. I met a man last night. Pot he was in the beginning, but it became clear VERY SOON that he was a mistake. His mere presence made me cringe. He kept asking me what I needed and what I wanted him to do. I told him my "ideal allowance" (my expenses doubled) and he immediately told me how that was "Too much", but maybe we can "work something out". I don't work things out. Either you do it or you don't. And I will NOT barter my body. The entire night, which was mainly spent being lost in Atl and looking for an ihop, was just a mess.

Mr. India is what I'll call him, since that's where he's from. I'm starting to not like foreign men. The one's I've met have been extremely pushy, demanding, and inconsiderate. I'm not looking for an asshole, I'm looking for a sugar daddy. Anyways, Mr India insisted that we "work something out". He offered to pay ONE of my bills. I had to pick rent or cell phone. I'm not letting you have your way with me in order to get my rent paid. NO. Cell phone? NO. Then he offered to "give me a car". Sounded nice, but when I started to think about it, that's not what I wanted either. I'm a cash baby. Gifts are nice and so is travel, but there's so much more I can do on my own with cash. And that's my thing. Some women want gifts, travel, and things of that nature and that's what works for them. For me, cash works.

So meeting Mr. India opened my eyes to exactly what I need to do. I definitely need to be more up front and specific about what I want my SD to do for me. If that scares him off, then he isn't the one for me. So I won't give up, I'm just going to change my approach. And no more dinner on the first meet! I can't sit that long with a man I can't stand to look at. So from now on, he can MEET me at a coffee shop. No exceptions. Safe, public, and quick. Just what I need.

I guess I can say I'm in the "trial and error" portion of my sugar career. I'm still learning how to ask for what I want and how to figure what they want. I have the hardest time asking these types of questions though. Maybe I just need more practice or more research. I'm sure I can eventually get what I want, I just need to find him.